Wow, guys, can you believe we made it to the season finale? Eight whole hours of laborious couch-sitting and rich bitch judging? Me neither. Why did I even start this? Oh, right, because I'm pregnant, in flats, and a Bravo ho.
So, the most exciting thing about this episode is that Rosie gestates and gives birth to a baby in less than 50 minutes. Talk about efficiency. But more on that later.
Let's meet this week's clients. First, we have Lucy and Matt. Lucy is a successful lawyer who plans to return to work after their daughter is born, leaving Matt--who looks like the love child of Eric Stoltz and Gary Sinise... no points, just saying--as the full-time caregiver. Matt claims to be an "actor," but watching him swim in the pool, crack open a beer, and talk about the hours he spends at the gym, I'm thinking cabana boy, a la Garcia in She-Devil (rent it, rent it now). ANYWAY. Rosie arrives at the house and immediately spot-checks for hazards, as is her wont. "They can swipe knives, they can swipe china," she tells Matt and Lucy, as if coaching them on how to use their infant for clandestine thievery. The Pope also opines that babies will eat pet food (no joke, y'all--I have a scar on my face from when my dog caught me eating out of her bowl), although I'm not really sure how that can be remedied. Pets have to eat from bowls on the floor, so the kid is just going to have to deal... or use her new-found knife skills to tell that bitch to step off.
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