At a press conference today, President Barack Obama shocked reporters when he said he might not run for a second term because he lacks fire in the belly. He hinted this might be attributable to the fact that his mother-in-law no longer cooks for the family.
In New Jersey, Governor Chris Christie also said he lacks fire in the belly. His explanation was that it had become impossible to light his belly without resort to a significant quantity of flammable substances, a fact that would likely prove counterproductive in a heated debate.
Former Governor Mike Huckabee, who has already declared himself out of the race, said he was relieved he lacked the required fire in the belly: "Fire is the symbol of Satan, and I'm not willing to dance with the Devil at my inauguration, especially because he'd want to lead."
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